Cushioning
- “keeping flirty backups while in a relationship”
- “my partner keeps texting other people just in case”
- “the word for lining up backups while dating someone”
- “is keeping options open while in a relationship cheating”
:: COMPARE ::
CushioningvsBenching
The short answer
A cushioner is already partnered and keeps side options as a breakup safety net. A bencher isn't dating the benched person at all — they're keeping a reserve on standby for possible future call-up.
Side by side
| Aspect | Cushioning | Benching |
|---|---|---|
| Their status | In a relationship | Single / dating around |
| The other person | A backup cushion | A reserve on the bench |
| Purpose | Soften a breakup | Keep an option warm |
| Read as | Emotional cheating | Leading on |
| You are | A backup cushion | A reserve option |
| Their goal | Soften a possible breakup | Keep you on call |
| Progress | Hidden on the side | Never activated |
Which one you meant
Readers who land here meaning Cushioning rather than Benching are usually searching for phrases like “keeping flirty backups while in a relationship”, “my partner keeps texting other people just in case”, “the word for lining up backups while dating someone”.
Benching
- “he keeps me interested but never actually asks me out”
- “someone treats me like a backup option while dating other people”
- “why do they text me but never make real plans”
- “the word for being kept on the sidelines in dating”
Which came first
Cushioning. 2010s — Emerges as online dating slang, with a long-standing definition as a technique to 'cushion the blow' of a breakup.
- 2010sCushioningEmerges as online dating slang, with a long-standing definition as a technique to 'cushion the blow' of a breakup.
- 2016BenchingCoined by Jason Chen in New York magazine's The Cut, applying the sports term to a not-quite-relationship.
Read either one in full